As I'm packing your school lunch and putting a batch of chocolate cupcakes in the oven for your class tomorrow, I'm thinking back to exactly six years ago. Ironically, I went into labor with you on Labor Day. Thirty-two hours, to be exact. Thankfully, I don't remember most of that. What I do remember is finally being wheeled into the operating room (your big head got stuck). I remember your first cry. I remember loving you before I ever saw your wrinkly little face. I remember crying and wanting nothing else in the world other than to hold you.
You were my first true love. Until you become a parent yourself, you won't understand the incredible mountain-moving love that I experienced with you. I couldn't stop looking at your perfect little pink face or stroking your soft, wispy blonde hair. You were so small, I was afraid sometimes that you would break.
I was young and had no clue what I was doing... honestly, I still feel like I have no clue what I'm doing some days. You have the unfortunate task of being the first-born, the "guinea pig." I make the most mistakes with you. I have the most expectations from you. I spend countless hours feeling guilty about every decision I make. I want the world for you.
You are such an "old soul" already. You perceive things way beyond the comprehension of most kids your age. You are also the most sensitive and kind the little boy I know. You love to take care of everyone. You are an amazing big brother and look after your siblings like a little guard dog. You told me the other day when I came home from work sick, "Don't worry, Mom. I'll take care of you and look after the kids." You made sure I was resting on the couch with plenty of fluids. You talk about Allie and how you're going to have three kids some day. You told me that you'd do the dishes and laundry for her and paint her nails when she couldn't reach her toes anymore. Then you told me, "But I won't yell like dad does." My heart broke for you.
I hope one day that you get a good male role-model in your life. I hope that my best is good enough for such an amazing young man as you. More than anything, I pray that you walk with the Lord at an early age. I pray that God always puts people in your life that will help me encourage and love you. I am confident that you will be a great husband and father someday, despite your parents.
I love you "more than tongue can tell," as your Nana would put it, and I hope this finds you some day at the right moment. You are so loved and cherished, my darling boy.
You were my first true love. Until you become a parent yourself, you won't understand the incredible mountain-moving love that I experienced with you. I couldn't stop looking at your perfect little pink face or stroking your soft, wispy blonde hair. You were so small, I was afraid sometimes that you would break.
I was young and had no clue what I was doing... honestly, I still feel like I have no clue what I'm doing some days. You have the unfortunate task of being the first-born, the "guinea pig." I make the most mistakes with you. I have the most expectations from you. I spend countless hours feeling guilty about every decision I make. I want the world for you.
You are such an "old soul" already. You perceive things way beyond the comprehension of most kids your age. You are also the most sensitive and kind the little boy I know. You love to take care of everyone. You are an amazing big brother and look after your siblings like a little guard dog. You told me the other day when I came home from work sick, "Don't worry, Mom. I'll take care of you and look after the kids." You made sure I was resting on the couch with plenty of fluids. You talk about Allie and how you're going to have three kids some day. You told me that you'd do the dishes and laundry for her and paint her nails when she couldn't reach her toes anymore. Then you told me, "But I won't yell like dad does." My heart broke for you.
I hope one day that you get a good male role-model in your life. I hope that my best is good enough for such an amazing young man as you. More than anything, I pray that you walk with the Lord at an early age. I pray that God always puts people in your life that will help me encourage and love you. I am confident that you will be a great husband and father someday, despite your parents.
I love you "more than tongue can tell," as your Nana would put it, and I hope this finds you some day at the right moment. You are so loved and cherished, my darling boy.
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