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Don't Settle

Before Facebook and Twitter, blogging was the best "social media" we had 10+ years ago. To this day, I still voraciously read other blogs (most of them food blogs). Feeling reminiscent the other night, I decided to dig through some of my old archives and journal entries from my college days.

I had stumbled across a blog entitled "Marry Me." At first, I chuckled at the idea - a guy listing reasons why he'd make a good husband candidate, but then I kept reading. I had completely forgotten about this blog until I scrolled through some of the entries my college self had saved, who was absolutely enchanted by this gentleman.

Reason #99
I will never shut you out of any part of my life. You will always have an all access pass to every part of me - my heart, my body, my soul.

Reason #97

I believe in true love and I will love you every day, and more each day after. I will never stop appreciating you and I will always treat you like the wonderful gift that God gave to man.

Reason #93

Finding "the one" should be like winning the lottery. You should feel like a million bucks when you are with your spouse, with me you will feel like 10 million, but I will treat you as if you are priceless.

There were many more, even some beautiful poetry. I felt hot tears streaming down my face. How on earth did I settle for so much less? Why didn't I wait for someone like this? I began mentally beating myself up, sad and angry that I didn't believe I was worthy of this kind of love. That kind of man is a rare gem.

I settled for less and as a result I'm still dealing with the consequences. I don't believe God's punishing me... the things I've been through were for a reason. I have the most precious children I could ask for, and I'd go through hell and back a thousand times over for them. I can't see the bigger picture and like I've said before, I trust the One who writes my story. He has a much better imagination than I do, and delights in blessing His children. I can take comfort in that.

Maybe... just maybe I'll get a second chance with someone like that. All I know is this time, I won't settle for anything less. If there is a next time, I'd love that man with every fiber of my being. If there isn't a next time... then I can ask for no one better than the Lover of my soul. 

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