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Learn to Sit With Loneliness

After the rather horrific end to my seven-year marriage, I made a vow to myself to not even think about dating for a year. I felt at the time that this was a reasonable timeline. No guys for a year. Focus on the kids and healing. Focus on starting a career. Make a "single girl bucket list" and do things you never got to do before.

The one-year marker came and went. I gingerly dipped my toes into the dating scene again after nearly a decade. I discovered that yes, there are guys that find me attractive and don't mind dating a woman with three kids. I even discovered that I could ask a guy out and he would say yes.

I also discovered that it's just not time yet.

Admitting that to myself felt like a big step. Until I meet someone that I can connect with on a spiritual, emotional, and social level, I'm happy by myself. Truly happy and content - which is also a big step to admit. One of my friends commended me earlier today for being okay with a cancelled date. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I've got so much other stuff going on, it's okay. I'm working an opening shift, running a 5k, and then going to a women's ministry brunch that morning anyways."

"Girl, your ass is always doing something."

I chuckled. "Precisely. I've got so much energy, so anyone who dates me is gonna have to keep up."

"It's good to be happy whether or not you've got a partner in your life. That's great that you're fine with that." I can't tell you how encouraging that was to hear.

This next year, I'm not going to set deadlines for myself or even go purposely looking for anyone to date. I just want to enjoy my life and let it unfold. I have a feeling that when God brings the right man along, I'll know. I'll just know. In the meantime, I'll take a cue from one of my favorite authors and learn to sit with loneliness.



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