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My Greatest Fear

Once in a while, I like to post questions on Facebook that start interesting discussions. My most recent one: What do you fear the most?

It's a topic that has been on my mind all week and was even a main source of discussion in my Bible study the other night. Some of the most common answers were failure, providing for kids, being alone, and so forth.

There aren't a lot of things I fear at this point. I've overcome so much. I've started my life over from scratch (twice) with nothing more than literally the clothes on my back. I know how to survive and I have seen God provide for my every physical need - even when it seemed impossible. I don't fear for lack of provision. 

I've experienced what I once considered absolute failure. And you know what I found on the other side? Grace and mercy. I failed because I tried to do things my own way and in my own strength, but I survived to discover that failure brings you to a different understanding of life. Failure can break you... or it can drive you.

So what is my greatest fear?

Rejection.

As a natural people-pleaser, my greatest fear has always been rejection. That fear has driven me to make some of the worst decisions of my life. Rejection hurts, and I'm certainly no stranger to it. 

At some point, you get tired of trying. You become so used to rejection that you become calloused. You might even build walls and beat people to the punchline. If you reject them first, then they don't even have a chance to hurt you... right?

Wrong.

I don't want to live like that anymore. Do you know what the real problem is? I have based my self-worth on the opinions of other people... not God, not even myself... other people. That causes me to take rejection on a very personal, heart-breaking level.

My worth isn't based on other people's opinions. It isn't based on my sexuality, my appearance, or my job. Ultimately, it's not even based on my own opinions (because my view of self can be skewed).

My value is found soley in Christ. I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I am loved, forgiven, and redeemed (Psalm 103:2-4). 

Why on earth would any other opinion matter? It doesn't!

There will always be people who don't like, approve of, or understand me. That's okay. It's their loss, not mine. 

I don't need to fear rejection because I am the one who creates it. 

If I love someone and they don't return it, that's okay. Christ loved me and died for me before I ever knew Him. Why should my love or actions be conditional on someone else? They shouldn't. If I am following the Lover of my soul, then none of that matters. Acceptance from other people should never be my goal.

If I do not seek outside approval to validate myself, then rejection is nothing to be feared.

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