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(Don't) Rescue Me

I'm thinking back to a conversation I had with a coworker the other day. We were talking about the concept of being "rescued." She loved the idea of a knight in shining armor swooping in to rescue and take care of her, whereas I found the idea very unappealing. Some (maybe most) women love the idea of being rescued... but I don't want that. 

Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Am I crazy to want an egalitarian relationship? Is it weird for me to want respect and support as much as romantic affection? I'm ambitious and up-front, but sometimes I get the sense that a lot of men find this intimidating or even threatening to their "manhood." I don't think it's wrong for me to speak my mind. I don't think it's wrong for me to find fulfillment in a career outside the home. Being a mother is my #1 (and favorite) job, but I also really like being the "breadwinner." That doesn't make me a bad mom or less of a woman. 

I can't sew or can vegetables. I wasn't designed to be meek, barefoot and pregnant. I was built to simply be me: a hard-working, devoted mother who tells fantastic bedtime stories, bakes cookies, teaches science in the backyard, and instigates art projects. Being a single parent is hard and lonely sometimes, but I wouldn't change a single thing. It's made me stronger and braver than I could have ever imagined. Why would I want rescuing from that? 

It would be nice to find someone who admires my strength and doesn't mind being my partner in life. I think a lot of guys miss the mark when they try to establish their "roles" as men by being pushy or controlling. Leading isn't about control. Good leadership requires gentleness and humility. It also involves solid teamwork. Kindness and clear communication are also essential. This isn't just a good business model... it's a good relationship model. 

Maybe I'll find that someday. In the meantime, I make no apologies for being independent. 



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