"...No human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so." (James 3:8-10)
Oof. That verse hit me hard. People who are made in the likeness of God. BAM. Makes me think twice about saying anything remotely bad about anyone.
I, like many other women, have been gifted with gab. I like to talk. It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Really hard. It's so easy to slip into gossip.
Gossip. That destroyer of relationships, careers, and even lives.
I don't think many people understand the ramifications of "casual" gossip. Unfortunately, I've been on the receiving end of it more than once. Because of one little sentence from one person, my life was completely altered in college. Worst of all, it was in a church setting. People who knew me and my (until then) impeccable reputation turned on me - all because of gossip disguised as "constructive critique" or "prayer requests." I was devastated.
Even as an adult over ten years later, I still observe situations where "talking" turns into ugly lies and feuds between former friends. It's like that game of "telephone" we all used to play as children. What starts as a simple sentence, gets warped into an entirely different message by the end of the line. Individuals with different ideas, personalities, and interpretations can take a piece of information and completely twist it into something else. Maybe not with malicious intent, but it can get easily out of hand. Especially if the information is "juicy" or scandalous, it gives us something interesting to talk about.
Hurting someone else is not a positive nor constructive source of entertainment.
Further on in the same chapter, James says, "Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false in the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." (3:13-18)
Proverbs chapter 10 has a lot to say about the tongue. In verse 19, it says, "When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent [wise]."
In my home, I have rules with my children about our speech (that I would be wise to remember for myself outside of the home). To keep the peace, we ask a few simple questions about our conversations:
"The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, only what is perverse." (Proverbs 10:31-32)
Oof. That verse hit me hard. People who are made in the likeness of God. BAM. Makes me think twice about saying anything remotely bad about anyone.
I, like many other women, have been gifted with gab. I like to talk. It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Really hard. It's so easy to slip into gossip.
Gossip. That destroyer of relationships, careers, and even lives.
I don't think many people understand the ramifications of "casual" gossip. Unfortunately, I've been on the receiving end of it more than once. Because of one little sentence from one person, my life was completely altered in college. Worst of all, it was in a church setting. People who knew me and my (until then) impeccable reputation turned on me - all because of gossip disguised as "constructive critique" or "prayer requests." I was devastated.
Even as an adult over ten years later, I still observe situations where "talking" turns into ugly lies and feuds between former friends. It's like that game of "telephone" we all used to play as children. What starts as a simple sentence, gets warped into an entirely different message by the end of the line. Individuals with different ideas, personalities, and interpretations can take a piece of information and completely twist it into something else. Maybe not with malicious intent, but it can get easily out of hand. Especially if the information is "juicy" or scandalous, it gives us something interesting to talk about.
Hurting someone else is not a positive nor constructive source of entertainment.
Further on in the same chapter, James says, "Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false in the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." (3:13-18)
Proverbs chapter 10 has a lot to say about the tongue. In verse 19, it says, "When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent [wise]."
In my home, I have rules with my children about our speech (that I would be wise to remember for myself outside of the home). To keep the peace, we ask a few simple questions about our conversations:
- Is it kind? Is your speech kind or cruel? A very simple concept in theory.
- Is it constructive? Is your speech informative? Are you giving valuable and positive information or are you in essence, "tattling?"
- Is it encouraging? Are you building people up or tearing them down?
- Is it humble? Are you tooting your own horn or praising someone else?
"The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but the perverse tongue will be cut off. The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, only what is perverse." (Proverbs 10:31-32)
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