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Letting Go

Why hadn't I changed my last name?

It was a question put to me not that long ago. I didn't really have a strong rebuttal. Because my kids have that last name? Because changing over one's last name is a legal paperwork nightmare? Because I'd had the same last name for nearly ten years and I'd have to relearn my old signature? Would having a different last name than my children make me any less their mother? Of course not.

Was this the one last thing that I had held on to? What exactly was I afraid of?

Truth be told, my thinking at the time of the divorce was that I'd probably be happily remarried after a few years. Why change my name again? However, three years later... it doesn't really look like that will happen. I think the whole thing is more than just letting go of my former marriage (which is not that hard at this point); it's about letting go of my expectations... all of them.

It's about just letting go.


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